When the caregiving ends, new problems to tackle as Executor

In our legal practice, we advise  many family caregivers who are managing and supporting the lives of their frail loved ones, and  we also advise executors in the administration of estates. Very often, the person who was our client in their role of caregiver is now the client in the role of executor. It’s a very tender time when that transition occurs.

They  may have spent years involved with their parent who  had dementia or chronic illness, and the client’s life has been intertwined with the parent’s on a day to day basis. It’s been an emotional roller coaster for several years. The sense of self, role and identity have been strongly defined by the responsibilities of the caregiving. In these situations, the loss of the parent often leaves a gaping void that makes them feel as if they are drowning. They have trouble managing their day to day life because the focus of their activity is gone. There is a deep grieving process. They may have become isolated. And now, other family members are expecting them to jump and handle all  the dry and technical tasks of wrapping up the estate and distributing the money.

The challenge is that the executor has duties under the law to marshall the assets, resolve or pay the creditors, and distribute the estate in a reasonable period of time. There may be ambiguities in the Will that require court action to resolve. It may be that a beneficiary is disabled and a trust has to be established for them. It’s a big job and there can be serious repercussions when the job isn’t done.

There is help available. The National Family Caregivers Association has a Bereavement Program that could be of great use to someone caught in this situation. Ask for their article “Who am I Now that I am not a Caregiver?” Check out this website at AARP, Certain local family counselling services may be specially designed to help you with this unique issue, and enable you to start moving ahead, one step at a time..

Call us for advice and assistance with estate administration, probate and executor work … 732-382-6070


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